13 Ways to Teach Your Kids to Fail

Teaching your child to be a failure in life is pretty easy. Just follow these 13 easy steps:

  • Protect your child from inconveniences when working on a task.
  • Protect your child from any and all physical injury.
  • Intervene anytime your child has a disagreement with a playmate or sibling.
  • Always be at the bottom of the slide of monkey bars to catch you child should he fall.
  • Be sure to triple check your child’s homework assignments to be sure they are done correctly.
  • Pack your child’s backpack and carry it to the car or bus for him each morning.
  • Intervene with every teacher over every poor grade your child earns.
  • Be sure your child always gets a ribbon or trophy for “participation” regardless of her performance.
  • Remind your child as many times as necessary about household duties.
  • Stay up really late the night before a due date finishing your child’s school project for him or her.
  • Consistently rearrange your schedule and calendar to accommodate your child’s events.
  • Reward your child for everything he does around your home or at school.
  • Encourage perfection in your child.

Well, that about does it, I think. Follow these steps and you are sure to raise irresponsible adults who lack initiative, can’t deal with failure, are satisfied with mediocrity, are dependent and feel entitled.

 

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